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Oh dear lord

A Twilight sex toy.

(This should go without saying, but do not click the link or expand this post if you cannot view sex toys at work.)
Updated by popular request... Yes the The Vamp retains hot and cold temperature. Toss it in the fridge for that authentic experience.

JUST IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN! Who doesn't love those dark and mysterious vamps on the screen and in the books we all thumb through lustfully? That's what we thought. For those of us who fantasize about being spellbound and tantalized by the forbidden comes The Vamp. We promise this vamp won't be the only thing coming for you in the night.

The Vamp is a realistic form dildo based appropriately on our Sire's design but with a deathly pale flesh tone reminiscent of the new moon's glow. Since it's a Tantus toy, The Vamp is made from Tantus' own unique blend of 100% Ultra-Premium Silicone. Don't be surprised if this toy seduces you, its long sleek shaft and deliciously ridged head calling to you in the twilight. But don't save this for just nocturnal escapades, try taking our Vamp out in the sunlight and watch him sparkle.

The Vamp is a web only exclusive offering through TantusInc.com for $39.99. We are currently taking pre-orders for this one of a kind toy. We will be shipping them first come first serve starting 9/1/09. Don't let this eclipse pass into the breaking dawn, place your order today.
Size Length: 6.75" Diameter: 1.55"

Tantus suggests the following movies if you enjoy The Vamp. Talk about Expert Advice!

* The Lost Boys
* Fright Night 1 and 2
* Twilight
* Interview with the Vampire
* Bram Stoker's Dracula
* True Blood TV Series
* Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV Series
* Angel TV

They claim that it's for all vampires, but you know and I know that there's only one type of vampire that sparkles. And it's not surprising in the least that they're a little small....

Picture behind the cut.
Ok, now we're safe....
I know a few people I could give this to. My sister Claudia has been campily enjoying the movie. My friend Buttery stole the books from an eleven year old. The eleven year old is now twelve. I think I started masturbating when I was twelve... I wonder if her parents would mind....? I KEED! I KEED!!



( 2 comments — Say something )
Aug. 21st, 2009 01:26 am (UTC)
oooooooohkay.... Well, good to see what women are into these days.

Aug. 21st, 2009 06:17 am (UTC)
I wonder how quickly Stephenie Meyer will send them a cease and desist.
( 2 comments — Say something )