August 2nd, 2012

burn baby

Selling out

We put our Burning Man tickets on the market last night. They were almost instantly snatched up, which didn't surprise me at all. But it made me sad.

I knew awhile ago that we weren't going to make it this year, even though I really hoped that we'd figure out a way to pull it off with everything else we were doing. The wedding, Graham's surgery and the kitchen renovation were all so bunched together that we never really had an opportunity to raise our heads and breathe. We wouldn't have been able to start Burning Man prep until this week, which is certainly doable, but not ideal.

In addition, from about April forward Graham sort of wanted to go to Europe for a proper honeymoon instead of Burning Man. He's done five burns, and the idea of the time and effort to haul everything out to the desert was really stressing him out. I liked the idea of Europe, but I also didn't mind the hauling stuff out to the desert as much as he did.

In early June, Graham got word of an opportunity to dj in Europe in late November. It's not finalized yet, and it's certainly not the type of gig that would be fully funded, but it's a pretty amazing once-in-a-lifetime sort of thing that we would actually regret not doing. We'll probably go to Paris for a few days and then hop over to London for the event. And we will have an awesome time. I am not upset in the slightest that we're choosing to do this over Burning Man.

But that doesn't mean that I'm not sad about not going to the playa. Our friends have started Burning Man prep in earnest, and every other post on facebook and on various lists seems to be about it. A lot of our friends are going, and their plans seem really fun and interesting. We were going to have another marriage celebration out there, because we didn't invite anyone from California Gigsville to the wedding thinking that we'd do something out there instead. I was really excited about the idea of it, especially since that is where Graham and I met. That the theme this year is "fertility 2.0" while we're trying to get pregnant doesn't help my state of mind about this either.

It's been four burns now since I've been. And if we start having kids in the next year, it will be a long time before I can go again. Sure, you can take kids to the playa or leave kids home with grandparents while you go. But not next year, when I'm hopefully breastfeeding someone under six months old. Or probably the year after that. And if Graham thinks it's a pain in the ass now, it's certainly not going to get any easier with having kids.

I know that once the Burn is over, and when we start getting ready for our honeymoon in Europe, this feeling of sadness will subside. We're going to California to visit some friends for their housewarming in September. But right now, it sucks that you can't do everything that you want to do.