September 30th, 2010


Sex and the single girl

A few days ago, I remarked to Graham that I thought it was remarkable that so many women I know in their 30s and 40s are single and never married. His response, which I thought was probably appropriate, was that this is maybe the second generation where it's possible for women to make those sorts of choices about their lives.

I think he's probably right. I've never felt a particular pressure to get married from anyone. I did go through a rough patch in 2003 when I was attending a lot of weddings and wondering what the heck was wrong with me that I hadn't found anyone remotely resembling a partner--but I got over that relatively quickly. My parents have been really awesome about letting us all live our own lives. The closest they get to pressure is occassionally referring to Graham as a future son-in-law, and it's mild at best.

I do find it interesting that so many of us are not just out there, but tend to gravitate to one another. Maybe it's that we have a lot in common. We're driven either by academics or our careers, and we tend to be writers (at least on the internet). We have some other goal than "get married and have babies." We are college graduates, and spent a good portion of time supporting ourselves. We don't need to get married in order to survive.

And it appears that we're not the only ones. This article blames the economy for the marriage situation being so bleak for young adults (defined in the 24-35 range here, but I think it's also a product of the changes in the way we're raised to think about marriage.

Why do you all think we gravitate towards one another?