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Survivor's guilt

A week or so ago, I made myself available to an accreditation body's site visitors. My employer has been working on this particular accreditation for about three years, and while I'd been involved with a lot of the work early on, it's been awhile since anyone has asked me for help on the accreditation. I do, though, advise my employer a lot on the issues that the accrediting body is looking into.

My boss and I met with the site visitors for about 20 minutes on the first day of their three day visit. Since I do most of the legal work in that particular area and since my boss was distracted by a family issue, I did most of the talking. I rambled on for awhile on the various things I do to help out, and they asked me a few questions about a few details. I pointed out vagaries in the laws of various states and countries that we operate in, and generally answered questions as best I could.

When we left the meeting, I remarked that I was relieved that they generally asked questions that I knew the answers to. My boss then told me that a substantial (for here, probably not for other places) raise that she requested for me was just approved. It's considered a salary adjustment to reflect the market, and I'm still eligible for merit rasies and bonuses, too. She said that I have way too much expertise in the areas that I cover for our employer, and it'd cost a lot more to find someone to replace me if I ever left. I also know that should there be a downturn here (it seems so far that we're OK financially, but who knows in these climates) that there are three or four other people below me that would go before I would. That's reassuring.

Apparently, the site visitors were impressed with my answers. On Monday, I got both a voice mail and an e-mail cced to my boss from the woman who has been coordinating the accreditation process. She said that at the wrap up meeting, the site visitors said they were very impressed with the legal support that my employer has, and the specifically mentioned me. All sorts of executives and other highers ups were at this meeting.

I know that I'm good at what I do, and I know that I'm valued by my boss, but this was pretty awesome validation.

But in this economic climate, I also feel a bit guilty. How fucking weird is it to have your career hit its stride while friends are desperately looking to figure out how to stay in their homes and pay their bills? In the recent job search that we did, I went through over 150 resumes. Several of those were of people who made over twice my salary last year.

I'll get over it, and lord knows it's not like I'm getting some insane bonus for sticking around in a failing organization, but still, it's a bit of an odd sensation.

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Comments

( 3 comments — Say something )
lostvoice
Mar. 17th, 2009 08:26 pm (UTC)
I'm stuck in the same parallel universe right now. It's very unsettling.
silverize
Mar. 17th, 2009 08:35 pm (UTC)
How fucking weird is it to have your career hit its stride while friends are desperately looking to figure out how to stay in their homes and pay their bills?

I hear ya. I am 8 months into a fabulous job and just got a raise also.
Good fortune comes around and often in ways we can't control or hell, even dream of. Don't feel guilty for this being your time. I'd save your money (that's what I'm doing) for when your own rainy day comes. And Congratulations!
pegster
Mar. 19th, 2009 12:11 am (UTC)
..it's not like I'm getting some insane bonus for sticking around in a failing organization..

i hear that. i'm still at my job while my company gets press almost daily on every single little thing it does, and while i am not passionate at all about the job itself, i'm passionate about the paycheck. layoffs are plentiful where i work, and the word of mouth is that the end of the layoffs will be in june of this year, so if i make it to then, i'll be alright. my own boss is past retirement age but cannot afford to retire due to his investments taking a hell of a lot more than a bath with all the stock market shenanigans. at this point, it's lather, rinse and repeat with my life. not fun, but it almost feels luxurious to have a place to go to every morning and get paid for it.
( 3 comments — Say something )