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The end of a year

I think that this is my least productive livejournal year in the 11 year history.  I suppose it was more or less inevitable, and I shouldn't really mourn it.   Facebook fills a lot of the daily chit chat that I used to post here, and I sometimes don't feel like I have the time or energy to devote to the type of posting that I want to do. Still, it's not something I'm quite ready to let go.

I do enjoy this forum, though, and I feel like I should be keeping up with it.

The year is a mixed one for me.  I've been updating my Flickr account, and the dominant theme of what I have chosen to document this year has been the puppies.  They're just a joy, and Fusilli has been an overwhelmingly good addition to our life.  He's the first show dog I've ever had, and while I was a bit wary about the idea of showing him, I've found that I really do enjoy it. It gives me an opportunity to spend a lot of time with him, and I think that our bond is pretty intense because of it. Not to say that Celosa isn't the most amazing, most wonderful puppy in the whole world. But Fusilli and I have our thing now.  And it's a good thing.  We've done three shows, and he's improved every time.   And with each show, we work on training, which is never a bad thing with a puppy.  He's almost 11 months old now, and his cords are beginning to come in.  Soon he won't look like a puppy any more.  But I'm sure he'll act like it for a long time.

In the last few months--aside from work with Fusilli--I've been really, really lazy.  I haven't been going to the gym as often as I should. I haven't really picked up any major projects. I've not written or crafted or taken any classes.  I haven't even read that many books.  The only thing I can really recall doing in the last few months is playing Candy Crush on my ipad and computer.  I finished that on Sunday.   I think that maybe after that last major flare up in my life, I needed some time to hit the reset button and check out for a little while.  And for some reason, I am ready to come back again and start doing things again.

This year seems like it's flown by, but at the same time it seems like March (when we got Fusilli), April (when I finished school) and May (when I miscarried) were forever ago.  I was walking yesterday along the route I took to school for the the first four full months of the year, and it seemed like such a long time ago that I walked that route twice a week.  But at the same time, it feels like I just left Taos, but that was in August.

Next week is more or less when I would have been full term if the pregnancy had taken. My due date would have been December 28.   I'm pretty much ok with the state of things, though I was hoping that I were pregnant again by now.  The worst part, I think, is all the questions and assumptions from other people.  I hate the "are you still trying?" or "how's the baby making going?" or "are you planning on having kids?" questions.  The sympathetic hugs when I have no idea what I'm getting hugged for are almost worse.  I saw this post on Crooked Timber a few weeks ago, and I could relate wholeheartedly.  My circumstances are different, but I've heard a good number of the same things in the last year.

Graham's club is moving downtown early next year, and I think he'll probably be working more once that happens.  He's planning a couple of out of town tours as well, and he'll be going to school.  I'm not quite sure what I'll be doing with my non-working time.  I suspect that we'll try to get the expansion going, finally.  We're both itching for space.  Graham really could use a studio space of his own, and I'd love to have a library/office/craft room.  Plus, extra bathrooms would be heaven sent.  We have a design in mind that would turn our two bedroom/one bathroom 1000 square foot house into a three bathroom five bedroom 1800 square foot house.  ,Graham talked to a builder/architect in September, and he liked our idea and the plan.  Our little corner of Houston has taken off in the real estate market in the last two years, so we're pretty sure we can get a loan for what we want to do just based on the equity of the house.  It's just a question of getting everything organized for it.

Comments

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fallconsmate
Dec. 19th, 2013 03:42 am (UTC)
i was getting to the end of that post and thinking the only thing that i could see was right, which was "i'm so sorry". and i was thinking about you in the last couple of weeks, since you hadn't posted recently and wondering...but that's not a question to just *ask* of someone that you are not an intimate of! (as in...spouse.)

i'm glad you posted. i'm glad there are good things going on in your life. and that would be exciting to see your house grow as your kitchen did! (plus, puppy photos are always good!)
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